Overcoming My Fears, Insecurities, and Self-Image

Since childhood, I grew up judging myself. I always thought the other girls at school and in the neighborhood were prettier than me. One thing that caused me a lot of anxiety was my arms. They looked more toned, almost like a boy’s, and I felt like mine weren’t feminine enough. I remember paying special attention to the arms of other girls, comparing their softness and shape to mine, and it made me feel different and less feminine.

That insecurity, along with others, followed me as I grew older. I constantly judged myself and believed I had to pretend or work harder to belong to the “popular” groups at school, because I thought that’s where the pretty girls were. Even when I managed to be accepted, I didn’t feel good inside. An inner voice kept telling me: “You don’t belong here. You’re ugly. You’re less than them.”

Over time, I came to understand something deeper: my body shape was influenced by my genes. I realized I had inherited much of my build from my father. But instead of embracing it, I rejected it. I had always been active—into sports, dance, or other activities—but I carried the fear of looking “too muscular.” Maybe for you this doesn’t make much sense, but for me it was a very real belief and an internal fear that stayed with me my whole life.

My husband, who is passionate about health research, began to gently encourage me to understand the importance of exercise—especially strength training for women, and how it supports our hormones and overall well-being. I resisted for a long time, holding onto my old beliefs.

But about six months ago, I decided to give myself the chance. I started weight training, and everything began to change. I go to a women-only gym, where all of us give our best during that one hour of training. I love it because we work out as a community, supporting and motivating each other.

My energy, my mood, and my confidence all improved. Yes, my muscles grew, but this time I felt different. The fear was gone. Now, when I look at my body, I don’t just see muscles. I see my muscles—my body telling me: “We are here for you. We are one with you.”

I feel proud because I have created healthy routines and habits that support me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I stopped fighting against what I inherited and started honoring it. Instead of seeing my body as something wrong, I now see it as a gift passed down from my father—part of the life he gave me.

How Family Constellations Helped Me Heal

This transformation didn’t happen overnight. Family Constellations were key in helping me overcome my fears and insecurities. Through this work, I learned to:

Accept what I felt – allowing myself to revisit childhood memories and acknowledge my pain, instead of denying it.
Take life from my parents – embracing the body, the genes, and the life they passed on to me, without judgment or resentment.
Release expectations – letting go of the fantasy that my parents or my body should have been different.
Attract healthy influences – opening myself to relationships, like with my partner, who encourage me to see myself with love, respect, true worth, and motivate me to keep learning and growing.

By doing this, I began to develop a new vision of myself—not only as a woman, but as a whole human being.

Today, I love watching my body grow stronger. I no longer compare myself to other women. Instead, I honor the life, the strength, and the beauty that flow within me

🪞 The Internal Mirror Exercise

This exercise helps you shift from judgment to compassion and from rejection to acceptance of yourself. Instead of looking at your reflection outside, you’ll create an inner mirror that shows you the truth of who you are.

Steps:

1. Find a quiet space
   Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take three deep breaths. Allow your body to relax.

2. Imagine your internal mirror
   Visualize a mirror inside your heart. This mirror doesn’t reflect your physical appearance—it reflects your essence, your soul, your truth.

3. Bring up the old reflection
   In this mirror, first see the version of you who felt insecure as a child or teenager. Notice the thoughts, the judgments, the pain. Acknowledge her. Say silently:
   “I see you. I hear you. I know you were hurting.”

4. Shift the mirror
   Now, imagine this internal mirror beginning to glow with light. Slowly, the image of that insecure version of you transforms into the woman you are today—stronger, wiser, more compassionate.

5. Speak to yourself
   In your heart, say to this reflection:
   “I honor you. I thank you for carrying me all these years. I now choose to see my beauty, my strength, and my worth.”

6. Seal the vision
   Place your hand over your heart. Breathe deeply and let this new image anchor in your body. Feel gratitude for your journey, your genes, your life.

7. Daily integration
   Each time you feel self-judgment arise, close your eyes for a moment and reconnect with your internal mirror. Remind yourself: “What I see in here is the truth.”

This exercise can be done daily or whenever old insecurities appear. Over time, your internal mirror becomes stronger than any external one.

🌸 Discover how to improve your self-image from within 🌸
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