Living in Empathy: A Gift for the Soul

Today, at the start of my day, I had a very special interaction with my husband.
He came up to me and said:

“I know you can be very critical of yourself, but I want to share this with you because things happen to me too. Today I was a victim of a scam. I’m sharing it because it can happen to anyone. The difference lies in how we respond: whether we beat ourselves up internally or learn from the experience.”

I listened attentively… but seconds later, I noticed my mind was already searching for an automatic response.
I was looking for a logical explanation of why this had happened.

Have you ever felt that impulse? The need to justify, solve, or find a reason for what the other person is going through?
Fortunately, I caught myself in that moment and realized: I was no longer truly listening.

I took a deep breath, returned to the present, and looked at him again. I watched his lips moving, listening to his words as if they were soft vibrations within me. In that instant, something inside me softened.

His way of sharing, his empathy, filled my soul.
I never imagined being in a relationship where my partner chooses to accompany me in my emotional processes, lowering his guard to feel with me.
Not to give advice. Not to correct. Simply to listen.
And sometimes, with all the tenderness in the world, he just asks: “Do you want a hug?”

That… that for me is empathy.
Feeling safe, loved, and deeply grateful—not because he never makes mistakes, but because he opens his heart, offering patience, presence, and willingness.

What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another’s place, to listen without judgment, to feel with them. But you can also be empathetic with yourself.

And although we all talk about it, most of the time we live defensively. We don’t listen; we just react.
If it’s hard with friends or family… imagine with your partner!
The person with whom we most need to practice it is often the one we least do.

Here’s a little exercise—do it with me:

Empathy Exercise

1. Place your hands over your heart.
Feel its warmth. Close your eyes and notice your body.

2. Breathe deeply 7 times.
Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Slow, gentle… as if with each exhale you release tension from your body.

3. Observe.
Bring full attention to your body. Notice sensations: tension, tingling, pressure, lightness. What do you feel? Observe your thoughts without judgment. Let them pass.

4. Whisper to yourself with love.
Say softly: “I see you. I feel your feelings. You don’t have to be any particular way; you just are.”
Repeat until your body receives the message.

5. Breathe 7 more times, then drain and expand.
Imagine yourself as a giant tree with infinite roots connecting to the center of the earth. Let go of anything heavy, draining it into the ground. Now, with each inhale, expand—more, more, and more…

6. Return slowly.
Breathe, give thanks, and open your eyes when you feel ready.

This is empathy: giving yourself space to feel before listening to another.
It’s not about taking things personally. It’s about observing and feeling the other without confusing their emotions with your own. True empathy separates with love: what is yours is yours, what is mine is mine.

Family Constellations taught me exactly that: to look at my parents and lineage with empathy—not to justify, but to recognize them as human beings.
By allowing myself to feel them, I was able to return what wasn’t mine and deeply appreciate the life they gave me.

"Today I can choose to listen instead of react. Today I can choose to understand before defending myself."

💌 And you, would you like to activate empathy in your life?
📞 Nayelin 415-577-8978
🌐 www.nayelin.com