Doing It Differently: Invisible Ties of the Heart
This morning I woke up with a fire full of frustration and confusion.
One question kept circling in my mind, even while I was at the gym:
“What does it mean to do it differently?”
How can I really know if I’m breaking free from old patterns and not repeating the same family loyalties?
How can I ask for what I truly deserve, from a place of love, without fear or shame?
I felt that fire running through my whole body. My mind was taken over by thoughts that wouldn’t stop:
sometimes I thought it was my old family loyalty condemning me to end up alone…
and other times I felt my eyes had simply opened, and that I could no longer accept less than what my heart knows I deserve.
Yes, I am a sweet woman.
But I also know my shadow: that part of me that wants to run away from places, people, and situations where I don’t feel valued, heard, or included. And of course, my relationship could not be the exception.
That day my head was about to explode, and I told my husband:
“I need to talk to you. Let me tell you how I feel and the words that keep circling in my head…”
Through tears, anger, and pain, my heart opened and I confessed:
“I want to be devoted to you, but I also want your devotion. I want this relationship to truly be ours, not lived apart. Maybe I was afraid to say this before because I didn’t believe I deserved it. But now I know this is what my heart longs for.”
Something shifted inside me.
My tears kept flowing, but now they weren’t from anger—they were from the humility of recognizing that sometimes I don’t know what to do, how to feel, or even if what I feel is right or wrong.
And in that moment, I felt as if magically, the lineages of both my husband and mine were there with us, present, witnessing.
It was as if I could tell them:
“Please, look kindly upon us as we do it differently.
Allow love and communication to reign in our home.
Allow us to grow and build our own family, carrying with us the blessings of love, health, abundance, and success.”
Because yes—sometimes it’s hard to understand what we truly feel. But let me tell you this: you are not alone. Your family line is with you.
I learned to speak, to ask, to cry, and to return what does not belong to me. And you can too.
Practice: “Letting Go to Do It Differently”
Here’s a simple practice for those moments when strong emotions feel overwhelming:
1️⃣ Breathe deeply.
Take 3 slow breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. With every exhale, feel your body relax more and more.
2️⃣ Close your eyes and imagine.
Bring to mind the situation that hurts you. Give it a color, a shape, and notice where in your body you feel it.
3️⃣ Bring your lineage with you.
Visualize your parents standing behind you. Ask yourself: “Who does this emotion really belong to?”
Gently picture yourself passing that emotion back to where it belongs, until your body begins to feel lighter and at peace.
4️⃣ Give thanks and release.
Say quietly inside yourself:
“Thank you for my life. I take care of my life as the most sacred gift I have.
Please, look kindly upon me as I do it differently.”
Stay with your breath a few more moments.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Healing is easier when someone walks with you.
You deserve a peaceful life, with faster and gentler emotional resolutions.
💌 If you feel ready to take this step, I can guide you:
📞 415-577-8978
🌐 www.nayelin.com
