Strong Woman, Are You Carrying Too Much?
From a very young age, many women learn to carry responsibilities that are not theirs. When dad or mom were not present — physically or emotionally — the little girl felt that someone was not fulfilling their role, and with blind love, she decided to do it herself.
This is how the wound of control is born.
A girl who stops being a child too soon to become “the strong one,” the one who cares, organizes, and puts things in order.
How It Shows Up in Adult Life
That girl grows up and becomes an admirable woman:
Responsible, charismatic, and hardworking.
Successful in her profession, with strong leadership skills.
Always ready to help others, even at her own expense.
But at the same time:
She struggles to be vulnerable, even with herself.
She demands too much from herself and carries a strong inner criticism.
In relationships, she often chooses partners who are more relaxed, sometimes irresponsible, or unable to provide for themselves. This confirms her childhood loyalty: “If I don’t take control, everything falls apart.” She ends up taking care of everything instead of experiencing an equal partnership.
Beneath this dynamic lies a deep longing to be seen, supported, and loved as she truly is.
The Perspective of Family Constellations
In Family Constellations, we understand that this pattern arises from love and loyalty to the family system.
The daughter takes on a role that is not hers — as mother to her mother, partner to her father, or supporter of the family — to “fix” what was out of balance.
Although loving, this pattern carries consequences in adult life. The good news is that it can be transformed.
💜 A Path Toward Healing
Nothing you did was “wrong.”
As a child, you did what was most necessary for survival.
Now you are in a different time.
The past cannot be changed, but you can surrender internally, open your eyes, and allow yourself to feel the pain you couldn’t before — just to release it.
Even with everything that happened, you still have your parents.
With their strengths and flaws, they gave you the most valuable gift: life.
When you can look into your mom’s and dad’s hearts and say:
✨ “Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad. Thank you for life.”
something deep within you begins to shift.
Then you can add:
👉 “Dear parents, see me with kind eyes if I do things differently…”
🌟 A Visualization Exercise
Imagine turning forward and your parents, with love, placing their hands on your shoulders.
Feel the strength of having them behind you.
Now you know you are not alone.
With the support of those who gave you life, you can achieve anything.
In Short
The wound of control is not a mistake; it was a form of love.
But today, you have the opportunity to love differently:
by letting go of control, taking your place as a daughter, and trusting the strength of your family system.
When you do, you can also choose a partner from adult love, not from old burdens.
Your relationship ceases to be a place of struggle or control and becomes a space of trust, mutual support, and true freedom.
And remember: no matter how strong, capable, or intelligent you are, there is one thing your parents were always better at — and that you could never do:
💜 giving you life.
Are you ready for a profound change? ✨
💜 Online or in-person sessions to heal from the root.
📲 Schedule your free 15-minute call.
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